New Beginnings
by PandorasHollow
Summary: SN ... For so many years Sara had envisioned this very moment, when Grissom would admit his feelings for her, when they would kiss. Now as she felt his lips upon hers it was nothing as she had thought it would be.


**Disclaimer:** Don't own CSI ...yadda, yadda, yadda...  
**Spoilers:** It's setduring the episode **624** butit's not spoilerish IMO unless you haven't watched **623**  
**AN:** Don't let the summary fool you, this is **NOT A GSR** story. But if you like a certain handsome Texan then don't hesitate to read. It's supposed to be a wonderful story about George W. Bush. (ha! okay, no bad jokes anymore)

I wrote this story this morning after I received yet another e-mail by my dear friend _Louise_ who's concerned about some spoilers and rumours about the season finale. This is an attempt to cheer her up a bit. If it doesn't help, I know two guys who really know how to cheer up a girl. One's name is Ben the other's Jerry.  
Like I said, the story was written this morning which means I wrote quickly and it wasn't with my Beta. sorry in advance for grammar mistakes and if the story seems a bit incoherent at times.

I hope you'll still like it.

* * *

**Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.**  
_-Sydney J. Harris-_

_**:x:x:x:x:x:x:x:x:x:**_

She didn't exactly know how long she had been standing outside the hospital room, looking through the small window.  
The scene inside saddened her imnensely, one of her friends was lying on the bed, tubes sticking out of him and life-saving machines surrounding him. Her other friend sat on an uncomfortable chair and stared into nothingness, fatigue and helplessness written all over his face. On her way home she had took a detour to the hospital in the knowledge that Grissom would be there instead of home. She wanted to make sure that he was okay, as okay as one could be watching one of his best friends at the brink of death.

With a heavy sigh, Sara opened the door to Brass' room and stepped in, Grissom didn't even look up. She spotted an empty chair next to him and sat down, regarding him worriedly. She had never seen him like this. Last year when Nick had been abducted he had not for a moment looked resigned, instead he had done anything in his power to save Nick.  
This time things were different. The man who shot at Brass was dead. This time there was no bad guy to chase, no evidence to search. It left Grissom distraught and helpless, because he could tell you a million things about fire ants and where to find them but he didn't know how to heal bullet wounds.

"Grissom, why don't you go home and try to rest. If his condition changes, the hospital will call you." Sara tried to persuade him to go home but Grissom remained quiet, and for the following few minutes only the frequent beeping of life-saving machines interrupted the silence of the room. Sara was about to say something again but this time Grissom beat her to it.

"This is not the first time he got shot. Years ago, we were at a crime scene when someone shot at us form a driving car. Jim and another officer got wounded but it wasn't as bad as this time. Despite the knowledge that he was endangering his life daily in the line of work I had never thought that it'd actually come to this." Grissom sighed loudly, shaking his head slightly. "Isn't it horrible that something like this has to happen to make one realize how short life can be?" The sudden topic change and the emotion in Grissom's voice surprised Sara. "Sitting here for the last two hours, I've thought a lot about my life and I realized that I've done many things wrong, that I haven't done all the things I should have. Sitting here I realized that I don't want to miss out on life anymore. I think I've done that for far too long. I don't want to wake up one day and regret all the missed opportunities. I want to be able to say that I was smart enough, courageous enough to risk something for life, for love. Sara…" he trailed off as he turned to face her. She just sat there, and stared at him back. A flicker of something, that she didn't recognize, crossed his face and before she knew it, Grissom leaned in and kissed her.

For so many years Sara had envisioned this very moment, when Grissom would admit his feelings for her, when they would kiss. Now as she felt his lips upon hers it was nothing as she had thought it would be.  
There were no sparks, no fireworks behind her closed eyes. She felt no bolt of electricity rush through her body. No goosebumps covered her arms, no butterflies danced in her stomach. The only thought that occupied her mind was that Grissom shouldn't be kissing her, that it was wrong.

"No, I can't." Sara said as she pulled away from him and stood up. Grissom looked up at her, a slightly confused look upon his face. He stood up too and stepped closer to Sara, putting a hand on her arm.

"I'm sorry…" he said, "…I know it's probably the wrong place, the wrong moment. We could…" with a shake of her head, Sara interrupted his unspoken suggestion.

"There's no right place or moment for this." She looked down at his hand on her arm before pulling it away from his touch. "Not anymore." Her eyes met his and she could see surprise and hurt in his blue orbs. "I should go now." Without any other word, Sara left the hospital room, not once looking back. She was sure that nothing else needed to be said, that he understood. Grissom did, and very painfully at that, as Sara's words from years ago came back to haunt him. It was too late.

Once outside in the parking lot, Sara let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding. The air that she breathed in seemed different, it made her feel better despite the hellish day she had had. She had not thought that she'd tell Grissom this way that she had moved on, that he no longer put claim to her heart. Sara hadn't meant to hurt him while he was already felling down but he left her no choice.  
After that kiss, there were only two things she could have done, left him in the belief that she felt the same until there was a better time to tell him the truth or tell him the truth immediately. The moment Sara had felt his hand on her arm, she knew that she had to do the latter. She had to let Grissom know that all the strings that had attached her to him for so many years, were cut. There was no going back.

_**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**_

As soon as the front door closed behind her, Sara slumped against it. Her eyelids felt heavy and she just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep. With some effort she straightened up and kicked off her shoes. Her jacket and keys landed on the floor next to the door before she made her way to the bathroom.

After a quick shower she emerged with a towel around her. She pushed the door of the bedroom open and silently changed into a pair of panties and her favorite t-shirt before climbing into bed, lying down on her back. Her eyes didn't even close as she felt the bed slightly move and an arm drape over her stomach.

"Hey, I didn't mean to wake you." Sara said softly as she turned her head towards the owner of the arm. She was greeted by two worried brown eyes.

"You didn't." He said. "I couldn't sleep." Sara raised her hand and brushed away the dark hair that covered his forehead. He looked as exhausted as she felt.

"You need the rest. You work too hard." Sara whispered and made him chuckle. She rolled her eyes when her own words registered in her mind. "That sounded a bit hypocritical, right?" She asked, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

"Yeah, but just a bit." Nick teased and drew her closer to him. Her fingers played across his cheek and soft lips as she remembered all the times he had told her to take it easy, not to let work consume her.

"How's Brass?" Sara let out a sigh as she remembered Brass in his hospital bed.

"Same. Critical but stable for the moment." She hated this feeling of helplessness. She hated that she couldn't do anything to save Brass, that neither of them could do it. It was the same feeling that had held her captive for twenty-four hours when she had watched Nick's battle in a plexiglass coffin. But they had been able to save Nick. Sara had little faith that they could save Brass.

"How's Grissom holding up?" Came Nick's next question and Sara momentarily remembered the meaningful kiss Grissom had placed upon her lips. It wasn't meaningful because he had kissed her but meaningful because it proved that she no longer harbored any romantic feelings for him.

"He's contemplating his life." Was all Sara said in the end. Nick just nodded in understanding. He knew exactly what Grissom was going through. When he was buried, he had remembered many of his regrets and then he had made promises to himself and to God that he'd make everything better if he would just get another chance at life.

Sara turned on her side and moved closer to Nick until she was nestled along his side, her head resting on his chest. Listening to Nick's heart beat under her ear, Sara grew quiet as she remembered the last year and how much her life has changed. A year ago, if someone would have told her that she'd not only be in a serious relationship with Nick but that they'd be living together too, Sara would have laughed. A year ago she would have never allowed herself to think of Nick in that way, now she couldn't imagine her life without him.

She didn't know when she stopped loving Grissom. Sometimes Nick would look at her from across a room, increasing her heartbeat with just one smile. Those were the times when she'd ask herself if she had ever really loved Grissom, because her body had never responded the same way at one of his smiles.

She didn't know when she started falling for Nick either.  
And fall for him she did. Hard.  
After his incident an overwhelming desire to be with him, to touch him, to simply see him breathe, had settled over her. In the beginning it was something she couldn't explain, but after giving it time and some thought, Sara knew what all of it meant. She was in love. She was in love with Nick Stokes and it terrified her and warmed her whole being at the same time.  
It was Sara, who in a rare moment of spontaneity, as her and Nick shared breakfast in their usual booth at Frank's, told Nick that she loved him.

Any other time she would have probably laughed at the look upon his face.

Any other time she would have asked him to forget her inconsiderate declaration.

Any other time she would have hastily left the diner, embarrassed.

But she did none of that. She just sat calmly, although it was the last thing she felt, and waited for Nick to say something. She was prepared for any kind of a response, at least that's what she told herself.

Nick's response proved to be more than she had actually expected, seeing as it had led them to his house and into his bed. That day their relationship changed for good. It was a bit bumpy at the beginning, as both tried in their own ways to adjust to the change and at the same time separate personal life from work. It was not easy to keep it a secret from the people they saw everyday, the people they considered family. But in some twisted and only to them logic way, they thought it was for the best that no one knew. Three months into the relationship Nick told Sara that they should tell Warrick about them, to which Sara agreed. One morning after shift, Nick and Sara told Warrick and Greg that they were dating.  
For a moment Sara had registered surprise and skepticism on the faces of their friends but it was gone the moment when Warrick commented that now he knew the reason why her and Nick have seemed so happy for weeks.

Warrick didn't know how true his words were. After DUIs, new Assistant Directors, suspensions, team break ups, burials and fire ants, Nick and Sara couldn't be in a happier place. The relationship changed them, changed their lives and it was impossible to think about things ever being different again.

It didn't mean that everything was perfect. It didn't mean that it was easy, that they lived in complete bliss twenty-four-seven. It didn't mean that there were no fights or disagreements.  
And it didn't mean that Nick could any better banish her demons than she could banish any of his.

But it meant that at the end of a day, or in their case at the beginning of one, Nick and Sara would go home together and hold and comfort each other, forget that the rest of the world existed.  
It meant that Nick loved Sara and that Sara loved Nick, and that many afternoons were spent in their bedroom with blinds shut down, talking in soft tones about holidays in Texas, their future, marriage and children.  
It meant that both were very aware of the special bond they shared and that they were thankful for having each other.

"Nick." Sara whispered after a few silent minutes passed between them.

"Yes, love." She smiled at his choice of endearment. Sara moved a bit until her body was on top of his, propping herself on Nick's chest to be able to look into his eyes. He just eyed her expectantly, wondering what she wanted to tell him as her eyes scanned his face in a manner that always made his pulse quicken.

"I don't know what I would have done if we hadn't found you on time. I'm afraid to just imagine my life without you." Her voice was barely over a whisper, her eyes, for some unknown reason to Sara, started to get misty.

"Then don't." Nick said and cupped her face with both of his hands. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Never." Nick held her gaze, allowing her to see the sincerity in his brown eyes.

"I know." She whispered, a smile spreading across her face. His hands drew her closer until their noses were touching.

"I love you." He told her.

"I love you too." Sara replied without hesitation, before their lips met in a slow and gentle kiss. When they pulled apart, Sara put her head down on his shoulder, enjoying the feeling of Nick's fingers gently combing through her dark hair.

"Sleep?"

"Sleep." Sara agreed and allowed Nick to move them around until her back was flush with his chest and his arm was holding her to him. A content sigh escaped Nick's lips, a sure sign to Sara that he was falling asleep. She closed her eyes, entwined her fingers with his and let his even breathing lull her to sleep too.

**The End**


End file.
